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It sounded like an easy trip, a drive into the desert sponsored by Gulf Adventure Tours. But surprise is one of the thrills of desert travel. Of course, I should have suspected something when my tour guide, Hassan, took control. He was more than just confident.

English-speaking Malta, a Mediterranean nation with a rich history, remains largely undiscovered by North Americans. Malta and Gozo, the two main islands, are both small, making a week-long vacation enough time to comfortably explore the seven best sites here.

"It's the journey that matters, not the destination." Whoever said that has obviously never flown with a crying baby and a not-quite-potty-trained toddler who announces she has to go to the bathroom--now--during takeoff.

Obediently, we raise our hands as the guard at the door frisks us. Once again, we stand out as visitors, as we have no pistol to hand over.

“You’ve got a lot of issues. “Yep, that’s why I’m here.” The fancy computer monitor displayed a vivid picture of my mouth. Not a pretty sight. Fifty-three years of avoiding the dentist and not flossing or brushing properly had finally caught up with me.

Sunrise and the Arabian Sea shimmers silver. Waves break gently onto golden sands that seem to stretch into infinity. Although India isn’t generally synonymous with cleanliness, Goan beaches are pristine.